August 27, 2001

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart.” 

– Jeremiah 1:5

And so I came into this world.

I was the first born,

the first grandchild,

the first granddaughter,

the first gift my parents had prayed for.

They named me Hefseeba – Ishtta.

It means the beloved one.


September 9, 2005

“I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”

– John 16:22

I remember a nervous heartbeat, a fluttering tummy,

and the warmth of my mom’s hug after seeing each other for the

first time in three years.

After living with my grandparents, it was impossible to imagine how life would change

once I went to be with my parents.  

The transition was difficult,

but in those days I came to understand the non perishable love of a mother.


February 10, 2007

“For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

– Jeremiah 29:11

We stood stranded in a world of bitter cold,

were we knew no one.

Isolation but excitement.  

A beginning.

A brand new life.

The food, clothes, houses – everything was so new and foreign.

Yet it suddenly felt like home.


May 27, 2008

“Two are better than one … for if they fall, one will lift up the other.”

– Ecclesiastes 4:9,10

I spent years making up imaginary sisters.

I would color one side of the coloring book while my ‘sister’ colored the other side.   

But then this fantasy became real.

I miraculously got a companion.

A built in partner.

A built in friend.

Sarah – the little princess.

Sometimes she can also be a built in pest,

But I’ll forgive her

for the fabric of our lives are knit together forever.


October 2012

“Nothing can stop God’s plan for your life.”

– Isaiah 14:27

“What do you want to be when your older?”

“I want to be a pediatrician”

“You can do it, I believe in you.”

Doubts and fears have constructed a barricade between the wisps of hope I struggle to hold on to.

But it is the confidence uttered from others that reminds me of my purpose and God’s plan.

I’ve wanted to be a doctor ever since I was four – the time I got stitches on my hand.

In grade six Ms. Nayak convinced me: I can do anything, as long as I have faith in myself.


August 30, 2015

“Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

– Proverbs 22:6

The first day of High school was scary.

I had everything prepared – sharpened pencils, labeled binders, and neat new uniforms.

Yet I felt the nostalgic longing for the comforts of middle school.

High school seemed to have its very own schedule that I was not part of.    

Between each break we trooped of like little soldiers to the next class, only stopping for a second to yell out a hello to your best friend who you haven’t seen all day.

Learning and obtaining new experiences were expected, but now looking back at these past years, I cannot fathom the emotional and intellectual growth I have experienced.


May 16, 2016 

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

– John 11:25,26

We all question death, especially when it unexpectedly strikes a loved one.

She was only 32; vibrant and radiant with the most beautiful heart and smile.

 And in those moments, as she took her final breath, all I could feel was numbness.

Our life is like the blade of grass which sways in the wind.

Anything more than a wind can tear and rip this life into pieces.  

It took time to heal, but I finally came to realize that she never really left us. 

I can see her smile in her five – year-old son 

and her kindness in her twelve – year-old daughter. 


September 10, 2016

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”

– John 3:16      

The process is simple: you believe in your heart, confess with your mouth, and publicly display that you are a follower of Jesus Christ.

As simple as it sounds, this day is as significant as the day I was born.

Water baptism is a symbolic representation of burying the old life and entering into a new life with Jesus Christ.

A second birth into eternity.


February 1, 2019

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
James 4:13-15
“Congratulations, you have been admitted into the faculty of…”
I felt so relieved and immensely grateful for the door that had finally opened for me.
That single letter validated that all the work and effort of the past 12 years was worth it. 
The possibilities of the future are as numerous as I make it to be.
As the future unfolds
it is important to embrace every opportunity,
to stride with courage,
and to explore every dream.
If it be the will of the Lord. 

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2 thoughts on “¼ of a Memoir – April Free Choice”

  1. Dearest Hefseeba,

    This has to be one of the most beautiful pieces of work I have ever read in my life. The use of the Bible verses really touches my soul, and it sets a very good tone of hope and solemnity in your words. There is a beauty in this piece overall that I cannot explain. Absolutely beautiful.
    The only little thing that I wanted to address was the word “faulty”. Did you mean “faculty” by any chance? This is such a minor mistake that didn’t take away from the experience at all!

    I will most definitely look forward to reading more of your work! Thank you so much for your time.

    With infinite love,

  2. Dear Jed,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post, it means so much to me! I’m humbled and honored to know you enjoyed it. And yes I did mean ‘Faculty’ – opps, thanks for catching that!

    – Hefseeba

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